hopefully i can finally get 7 years worth of belongings organized this weekend.
take. (to yosemite)
toss.
store. (at home)
i don't think it'll be nearly as fun as it looks on "sex and the city".
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Street Soldiers
I was just listening to "Street Soldiers" on 106.1 KMEL. I'm gonna keep tuning in on Sunday nights. Good words. It's comforting to hear positivity on the radio. Yeah, our culture is all kinds of effed up, but they implore us to stay focused on family, forgiveness, and morality given these times.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
autumn in the heart
this week has put a lot of things into perspective.
after spending 6 months in toronto, i returned to norcal in the middle of august. i was eager to enjoy the remaining days of summer with the people i had missed for so long. i also returned with a desire to simplify things and get my health (physically & mentally) back in check. i wanted to adopt a "life is too short to sweat the small stuff" philosophy. after a string of vacations and trips, i returned to work.
over the following 2 weeks, i'd uncovered most of what i'd missed over the previous 6 months through dinners, drinks, brunches, lunches, walks, and talks. i was happy to get some face time after the long hiatus. i relied on things like facebook, twitter, and gchat while in toronto, but it just wasn't the real deal. communication just gets harder and harder as we all get busier and busier. i'm realizing that I need to connect with my friends individually if this is going to last. sometimes, when you hold onto the group, you take for granted the people that make up the group. i know i have, and i know i want to change.
the final days of my summer were filled with work, illness, and a car accident. so much for a summer spectacular...
my heart is so heavy.
and now it's autumn. and it's time to make some resolutions. it's my time to shed some leaves... and i'm ready to let them fall.
i thought coming home would be the fresh start i needed to get my life back on track, but i wanted to fix everything all at the same time. i feel like i've wasted so much time over the years, trying to control things i wasn't supposed to or never had authority to. yeah, i have a controlling nature, but it comes from a need to be secure and know what's coming and where it's coming from.
i can now classify all these issues weighing me down under two categories: things I cannot control and things I can.
the key for right now is focusing on what i can control, and not bothering with what i cannot.
1) work: i can't control what i'm assigned to, but i can make sure i do a damn good job working on it.
on wednesday, i was assigned to a project. YAY! i am really excited to get back into the field. i'll be working in yosemite on a dam retrofit at bass lake. it's just what i need. thank you thank you thank you...
2) health: i can control almost every aspect of my health, aside from the injuries from my car accident
i'm getting back into the gym, limiting junk food and eating out in general, getting sleep, managing work hours/stress, seeing people that make me happy. as for all the post-accident pain, that will take time and patience. i can't make myself heal in a jiffy, but i'll do what i can to make sure i don't worsen my situation.
3) family+friends: this is probably the hardest for me, but the best thing i can do here is tend to my individual relationships with them
i have been really happy being back home with my family. me and my sisters have more in common now (jamie works, rachel's in college and busy like i was... lol). chris and all my closest friends are nearby. moving away again will be hard, but hey, ya'll should come visit me in yosemite. it's not a $600 RT plane-ticket. it's a camping trip. no more excuses.
so that's my fall line-up...
... so ... where is this "autumn in the heart" coming from. well, for me, i wouldn't characterize this part of my life or this year, as the happiest of times, but i'm doing what i can to bring those feelings back. i want to shed all the frustration, the grudges, the anger, the pain, the weight, the excess... i'm ready to scale back and work with what i've got. **more immediately, i need to bring order to a room that still contains boxes from moving back home after college, after seattle, and after toronto -- this could turn into a hoarders situation if i don't handle this now, lol.** i'm not shutting down my heart, not at all. just letting the old parts fall away so i can rest easy and continue to grow.
seasons change. people change.
i want to believe that this is just a phase.
i do believe that this is just a phase.
this is just a phase.
... and on the other hand, "Autumn in the Heart" is part of a 4-series Korean soap opera called "Endless Love". right now, it's a Korean-based Filipino soap opera on the GMA network, starring Dingdong Dantes (YAY!) and Marian Rivera (yeah...). Not to say that fantasy mirrors reality, but this soap has me hooked. And for all the wrong (eh... maybe right) reasons. Hot leading man. Drama drama drama. Hot leading man... sigh. It's just a soap. Here for just a season. Sigh...
after spending 6 months in toronto, i returned to norcal in the middle of august. i was eager to enjoy the remaining days of summer with the people i had missed for so long. i also returned with a desire to simplify things and get my health (physically & mentally) back in check. i wanted to adopt a "life is too short to sweat the small stuff" philosophy. after a string of vacations and trips, i returned to work.
over the following 2 weeks, i'd uncovered most of what i'd missed over the previous 6 months through dinners, drinks, brunches, lunches, walks, and talks. i was happy to get some face time after the long hiatus. i relied on things like facebook, twitter, and gchat while in toronto, but it just wasn't the real deal. communication just gets harder and harder as we all get busier and busier. i'm realizing that I need to connect with my friends individually if this is going to last. sometimes, when you hold onto the group, you take for granted the people that make up the group. i know i have, and i know i want to change.
the final days of my summer were filled with work, illness, and a car accident. so much for a summer spectacular...
my heart is so heavy.
and now it's autumn. and it's time to make some resolutions. it's my time to shed some leaves... and i'm ready to let them fall.
i thought coming home would be the fresh start i needed to get my life back on track, but i wanted to fix everything all at the same time. i feel like i've wasted so much time over the years, trying to control things i wasn't supposed to or never had authority to. yeah, i have a controlling nature, but it comes from a need to be secure and know what's coming and where it's coming from.
i can now classify all these issues weighing me down under two categories: things I cannot control and things I can.
the key for right now is focusing on what i can control, and not bothering with what i cannot.
1) work: i can't control what i'm assigned to, but i can make sure i do a damn good job working on it.
on wednesday, i was assigned to a project. YAY! i am really excited to get back into the field. i'll be working in yosemite on a dam retrofit at bass lake. it's just what i need. thank you thank you thank you...
2) health: i can control almost every aspect of my health, aside from the injuries from my car accident
i'm getting back into the gym, limiting junk food and eating out in general, getting sleep, managing work hours/stress, seeing people that make me happy. as for all the post-accident pain, that will take time and patience. i can't make myself heal in a jiffy, but i'll do what i can to make sure i don't worsen my situation.
3) family+friends: this is probably the hardest for me, but the best thing i can do here is tend to my individual relationships with them
i have been really happy being back home with my family. me and my sisters have more in common now (jamie works, rachel's in college and busy like i was... lol). chris and all my closest friends are nearby. moving away again will be hard, but hey, ya'll should come visit me in yosemite. it's not a $600 RT plane-ticket. it's a camping trip. no more excuses.
so that's my fall line-up...
... so ... where is this "autumn in the heart" coming from. well, for me, i wouldn't characterize this part of my life or this year, as the happiest of times, but i'm doing what i can to bring those feelings back. i want to shed all the frustration, the grudges, the anger, the pain, the weight, the excess... i'm ready to scale back and work with what i've got. **more immediately, i need to bring order to a room that still contains boxes from moving back home after college, after seattle, and after toronto -- this could turn into a hoarders situation if i don't handle this now, lol.** i'm not shutting down my heart, not at all. just letting the old parts fall away so i can rest easy and continue to grow.
seasons change. people change.
i want to believe that this is just a phase.
i do believe that this is just a phase.
this is just a phase.
... and on the other hand, "Autumn in the Heart" is part of a 4-series Korean soap opera called "Endless Love". right now, it's a Korean-based Filipino soap opera on the GMA network, starring Dingdong Dantes (YAY!) and Marian Rivera (yeah...). Not to say that fantasy mirrors reality, but this soap has me hooked. And for all the wrong (eh... maybe right) reasons. Hot leading man. Drama drama drama. Hot leading man... sigh. It's just a soap. Here for just a season. Sigh...
Waiting
Waiting
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your Ipod/Itunes or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the NEXT button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 25 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
This Is Why I'm Hot - MIMS
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Hard To Say Goodbye - Dreamgirls Soundtrack
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Tell Me If You Still Care - Monica
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Count On Me - Jericho Road
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Lock & Load - Lil Wayne & Kurupt
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
As Long As You Love Me - Backstreet Boys
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
A Lovely Night - Lea Salonga, Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella
WHAT IS 2+2?
No Other - Keyshia Cole
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Heart of Glass - Blondie
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Clumsy - Fergie
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP??
I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE??
My All - Mariah Carey
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Ego - Beyonce
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Patron Tequila - Paradiso Girls
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Hardest Part About Breaking Up - 2gether
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Get Naked (I Got a Plan) - Britney Spears
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it) - Beyonce
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Still Ballin' - 2Pac
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Happy - N.E.R.D.
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Better Together - Jack Johnson
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Guarda la Luna - Sophia Loren, Nine Soundtrack
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
If It Kills Me - Jason Mraz
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Don't Hang Up - Britney Spears
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Broken Vow - Sarah Geronimo, Mark Bautista
(....... o_O ........)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
One Short Day - Idina Menzel & Kristen Chenoweth, Wicked Soundtrack
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Case Of the Ex (Whatcha Gonna Do)- Mya
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Backwards - Rascal Flatts
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Enjoy - Janet Jackson
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Waiting - Norah Jones
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your Ipod/Itunes or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the NEXT button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 25 friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
This Is Why I'm Hot - MIMS
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Hard To Say Goodbye - Dreamgirls Soundtrack
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Tell Me If You Still Care - Monica
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Count On Me - Jericho Road
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Lock & Load - Lil Wayne & Kurupt
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
As Long As You Love Me - Backstreet Boys
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?
A Lovely Night - Lea Salonga, Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella
WHAT IS 2+2?
No Other - Keyshia Cole
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Heart of Glass - Blondie
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Clumsy - Fergie
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP??
I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE??
My All - Mariah Carey
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Ego - Beyonce
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Patron Tequila - Paradiso Girls
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Hardest Part About Breaking Up - 2gether
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Get Naked (I Got a Plan) - Britney Spears
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it) - Beyonce
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Still Ballin' - 2Pac
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Happy - N.E.R.D.
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Better Together - Jack Johnson
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Guarda la Luna - Sophia Loren, Nine Soundtrack
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
If It Kills Me - Jason Mraz
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Don't Hang Up - Britney Spears
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Broken Vow - Sarah Geronimo, Mark Bautista
(....... o_O ........)
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
One Short Day - Idina Menzel & Kristen Chenoweth, Wicked Soundtrack
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Case Of the Ex (Whatcha Gonna Do)- Mya
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Backwards - Rascal Flatts
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Enjoy - Janet Jackson
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Waiting - Norah Jones
Thursday, September 2, 2010
25 by 26
Before I turn 26, I want to have visited at least 25 states. With the summer almost behind me, I think I've lost the best time for long road trips and optimal travel weather... but I'm not losing hope. 9 states in 8 months, let's give this a shot.
Done: Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Maryland, Nebraska, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Virginia, Washington
To Do: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming
High Probability: Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Michigan, Texas
I hope I never kick this travel bug. I feel very fortunate to have been able to travel a lot with my family. I want to be able to give these worldly experiences to my kids, too, one day.
If you feel the need to hit the road or hop a plane, let me know! Travel is more fun when you have someone to enjoy it with.
Done: Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Maryland, Nebraska, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Virginia, Washington
To Do: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming
High Probability: Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Michigan, Texas
I hope I never kick this travel bug. I feel very fortunate to have been able to travel a lot with my family. I want to be able to give these worldly experiences to my kids, too, one day.
If you feel the need to hit the road or hop a plane, let me know! Travel is more fun when you have someone to enjoy it with.
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